Harvard’s three-step method for introducing yourself to a stranger

In France and abroad, a first conversation with someone you do not know can feel uncertain. Advice attributed to Harvard sets out a straightforward method.

Published on 9 June 2025, the source article examines greeting customs and how to introduce yourself when meeting someone for the first time. It notes that gestures differ greatly between countries, social settings and circumstances. Rather than relying on a handshake or a kiss on the cheek, the approach described favours a few sentences that can establish a clear, friendly exchange.

A greeting is more than a gesture

Kissing on the cheek, offering a hand, making a slight bow, smiling or simply saying hello: there is no single universal rule for greeting someone. Context is crucial. A professional meeting, a community gathering, a meal with friends and a formal appointment do not necessarily follow the same conventions.

The article also highlights the potential for misunderstandings. A gesture considered natural in one area may seem overly familiar somewhere else. Conversely, maintaining some physical distance can signal politeness rather than coldness.

When facing a stranger, the aim is not to select the perfect gesture, but to make first contact respectful and easy to understand.

Against this backdrop, the advice reported in the source article focuses on a concise introduction. The principle is to give the other person immediate reference points: who you are, what you do and why you are there.

Harvard’s three-step method

Andrea Wojnicki, described as an expert from Harvard University, suggests organising an introduction around the present, the past and the future. The method can be used in a professional encounter, when joining a group or at an event where participants have not yet met.

Start with the present

The first step is to say hello, give your first name and mention your current occupation. Andrea Wojnicki expresses the advice as follows: “Start by talking about your current situation. Say hello, state your name and your profession.”

An introduction does not need to be complicated. Giving your name and role is often enough to begin a conversation. Where appropriate, you can also mention the project you are working on or the reason you are attending.

• Greet the other person clearly;
• Give your first name;
• State your profession or activity;
• Add a specific detail about what you are currently doing.

This opening prevents awkward silences without forcing excessive familiarity. It also gives the other person several possible ways to respond or ask a question.

Mention a few points from your background

The second stage concerns the past. It does not require you to recount your entire life story. Instead, Andrea Wojnicki advises choosing two or three relevant details, such as education, experience or a notable achievement.

This can help place the other person in a professional context. It may also lead to a more personal discussion, provided it remains appropriate to the setting and the time available. An informal conversation does not call for the same degree of detail as an interview or an introduction to a new team.

A short introduction becomes more effective when it provides useful points of reference without turning into a comprehensive account.

The article gives the example of a person with a degree in computing, who has worked on data-related projects and taken part in an award-winning campaign. It demonstrates one point: referring to a specific experience can make an introduction more engaging when the information is relevant to the conversation.

Open the conversation towards what comes next

The third step looks ahead. You might express an interest in a role, a team or a project. In a professional setting, this can show what you would like to contribute. In a less formal meeting, the opening could take the form of an interest or a question for the other person.

This final element should not become an overly ambitious statement. A few words about an aspiration, an aim or a subject that interests you are enough. The objective remains to encourage an exchange, not to dominate the conversation.

In France, social conventions depend heavily on context

In France, handshakes remain common in professional relationships and formal meetings. Kissing on the cheek is also used in many friendly or family situations, although practices can vary from one region to another. The number of kisses, when they are used and the occasions on which they seem suitable are not standardised.

When unsure, the most cautious option is often to greet the person verbally and observe their response. Saying hello, smiling and introducing yourself are suitable in most circumstances. A handshake can follow if the other person initiates it or if the setting makes it feel natural.

Within French businesses, internal rules and team habits also matter. Some people prefer to avoid physical contact for health reasons, personal comfort or cultural reasons. Respecting that preference does not require a lengthy explanation: a verbal greeting is sufficient.

Useful habits for a first meeting

Andrea Wojnicki’s method can be helpful on one condition: it must be adapted to the situation. An introduction that sounds too rehearsed may feel mechanical if it is delivered without regard for the person in front of you. Listening is therefore just as important as the first words you say.

• Look at the other person without staring;
• Use a simple polite greeting;
• Introduce yourself in one or two sentences;
• Leave room for the other person to introduce themselves in turn;
• Build on a shared point or on the context of the meeting.

The location itself often provides an easy topic: a meeting, a conference, a shared activity or joining a new team. Asking a question connected to that setting can make the opening of a conversation feel easier. It is better to choose an open, non-intrusive question.

Greetings are also a form of non-verbal communication. Your tone of voice, pace of speech, physical distance and attention to the other person’s reply may matter as much as the words you choose. A restrained introduction, combined with an approachable manner, can be enough to create an atmosphere of trust.

For someone anxious about approaching a stranger, preparing a short sentence can be useful. Giving your name, activity and a simple reason for joining the conversation provides a structure. This preparation does not replace spontaneity; above all, it prevents you from searching for words at the moment of first contact.